Single Mother by Choice – Sherry’s Story

Hi – my name is Sherry.   I am a single mother (twice).   I had my second child through donor insemination.  This was a huge decision and I struggled for some time with the pros and cons of doing this.   I want to share my story and connect with others out there who may have chosen to become a single parent or are in the process of deciding whether this choice makes sense for you.  I believe we can be a great support to each other.

Sherry’s story – the long version…I have always loved children and all through my childhood longed for the time when I would have a baby.  However, this reality came a little to soon for me!  I had graduated from college and was enrolled in graduate school when I found out condoms are not very reliable and ended up pregnant.

Being the strong willed, stubborn person that I am, I decided that continuing with graduate school was even more important now that I would be supporting myself and a baby.  I had no insurance or money and was starting graduate school 6 months pregnant.  I was scared to death and thought no one would take me seriously.  To support myself and pay for school I waited tables until I was about 8 months along in my pregnancy.

I had my baby during exam week and three days after my c-section I went back to school to take my last two exams.  I have a beautiful daughter named Jordan and she is one of the best things that ever happened to me!

So I finished grad school and landed a great job.  My focus became soley my daughter and my career.  I still hoped that one day I would fall in love, get married and have more children.  But, as fate would have it, that was not exactly the plan.  I soon turned 35 and my yearning for a baby began to increase.  I spent two years working with Child Advocates hoping that helping other children would mitigate my need for another one, but seeing these children only increased my desire to have my own baby.  Finally I decided that I would have a baby one way or another before I turned 40.

I made the first hard decision – now what?  I went through the pros and cons of adopting.  As a single parent I knew that the odds of adopting a newborn baby were slim.  I thought very seriously about fostering to adopt, but since I am single and have to work full time I knew I would not have as much time as needed to devote to a child that may require additional attention or have special needs.  I am very much into eating healthy and good pre-natal care and was worried about issues that my come along with a baby that may have had an alcoholic or drug addicted birth mother.

I decided the best method for me was donor insemination.  I discussed this with my gynecologist and he recommended the two most reputable sperm banks in the US as sources for further information.  I found that you get much more health and background information (self reported) on the donor than you would ever get from a mate or husband!

I had a few issues going through the donor insemination process, but for the most part it went extremely smooth.  I have an adorable (active) son, Eric, who has just turned 5 years old and started kindergarten.  Time flies!

I have many friends who are single parents either through divorce or the father chose to not be part of the picture or have limited involvement, but I do not know anyone who has actually conceived by way of a donor and would be interested in hearing, learning and sharing experiences.

There are many different kinds of single parents out there.  What is your story?

Sherry – Mother of Jordan (19) & Eric (5)